my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I booty called her while she was in labor.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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