quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
a search helicopter?!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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