Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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