I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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