I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
