He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize