Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
