when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
