I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
