everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
