My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize