It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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