I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize