I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
