At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize