Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
