I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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