be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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