its not stalking. its research.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
