I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
