So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
