I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
