you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Found your dick twin last night
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize