maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
