You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
