People in love make me want to vomit
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize