Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
