Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
