You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
