he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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