I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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