This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
