Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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