yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize