you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
