she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just had sex bonerless
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It was confusing and full of hummus
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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