You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
