Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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