Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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