We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
