One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
