We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
