my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
