maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
