Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
