Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
