Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
