i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Send help, water and tortillas.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
