is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
