i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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