My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
