is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
