At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
