i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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