So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
