he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
