For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
