Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
