All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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