dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just invented taco cereal.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
