because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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