I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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