Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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