Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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