Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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