My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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