I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
