that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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