soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Are my feet made of real feet?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
