so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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