What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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