In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
my poor anus
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
